i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
