I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dignity is for republicans.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
