MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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