True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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