Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
