You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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