just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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