I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
