I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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