So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
