Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
