I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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