I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
