gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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