I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
