just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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