Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
