Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
