I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
