he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Dignity is for republicans.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
