She is in my trunk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
