I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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