quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
