i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
