I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
