Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dignity is for republicans.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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