i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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