We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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