Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
