when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
