I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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