She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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