so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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