The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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