I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
