and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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