low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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