just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
