I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
