4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
