i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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