i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
