ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
