Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
