so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
