I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
