On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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