im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
