Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
