i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
