we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
