She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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