She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize