I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize